Weddings VS Marriage {Or 'Letting Go of Bitterness'!}

I decided to stay up late tonight, to hopefully get a bit of progress made on Ruffles' Halloween Costume {I did}. I found a short series on Netflix called 'Say Yes to the Dress:Randy Says'...usually 'SYTTD' leaves me feeling quite envious over the 'lack' in my Wedding Season {yes, even after almost 10 years}. Tonight however, I am Grateful. Grateful for a Husband that LOVES Me Endlessly & Spoils Me {as much as he can}. Grateful for another reminder that God STILL answers Prayer {mine yesterday was to erase lingering bitterness I carry in my heart...}. Grateful that in less than Three { !3! } Weeks, I will get to celebrate 10 Years of Marriage to the Most Wonderful Man that 'I Never Knew I Always Wanted'...even if we don't get to leave our little town to do it~I LOVE MTB TREMENDOUSLY. And I am GRATEFUL. ♥

I have come to grips with the reality that the 'family support' just wasn't there. I had no guidance on registration, planning, The Dress...anything. Okay~No Biggie. So I plan to BE THERE for Our Girl. I've watched other Mama's and 'studied' the Wedding Seasons of local Brides in recent years. 'Oh! That's how it's supposed to be done~Gotcha!'  Okay, that may sound bitter or sarcastic in your mind, but Seriously~I understand the 'why'~Even though I have two Mothers that Love me, neither of them got a Wedding at all. {In fact, we're still trying to convince our Daddy that he needs to 'Marry Mom RIGHT' one of these days.} So technically, they had no guidance to offer...

I have come to accept the fact that we had EXTREMELY limited funds to finance a Wedding. In fact, we I managed to 'DIY' the entire day for about $3000. That included my dress. {Side Note~Not only was that BEFORE Pinterest, but I didn't even know how to use the internet back then!} Yes, we both had full time jobs. Yes, we were given a few pre wedding gifts to use accordingly...but I had a Future MIL that was very ill and spent much time in hospital...40 mins away. And in the six {eight?} weeks leading up to the Wedding, she did not leave hospital due to a series of massive strokes that created much damage. We felt our time was much better spent with her. Sharing meals, sharing conversation, watching television, watching her sleep, keeping track of her care & well being. Driving 40 minutes one way {twice a day, 4-6 days a week} plus eating dinner can REALLY add up. So...there went our ''Last Minute Details'...'Fresh Floral Arrangements'...'Reception Refreshments'...'Honeymoon Funds'. ~And I wouldn't have it any other way. D knew that she was Loved. She knew that she was Cherished. And THAT is worth more than any Vera Wang Dress, Gorgeous Choreographed Ceremony, Rocking Reception & Fancy Honeymoon. Hands Down. Any Day. 

Still having a little trouble with the pictures though! { !-LOL-! } The. Pictures... Seriously...???...I just have no words to describe the 'awfulness' of that debacle! I say this jokingly now, but it actually took many years for M & I to get over recover from that experience. We met with {and paid most of the package price to} our photographer before we were actually engaged. M proposed in February {so romantic~but another story!} and it took until the end of August for the photographer to actually keep a date {aka NOT stand us up!} and do our engagement session. We were rushed. In our work clothes...and covered in mosquitoes. In our pictures there are literally mosquitoes feasting on us! Our package covered the Rehearsa & Dinner {he didn't show up}, PreWedding Prep {nada}, the Wedding {got that}, and Reception {got a few traditional 'corny' shots}. We celebrated our 1st Anniversary before we ever saw the proofs from the Wedding Day.  It took over three and a half years { !-3.5-! } to get our Wedding Album. We just took it out of the box {to display} this Summer. We really don't like to look at it~is that Sad? But our Kiddos love it. Bless Them.

But, as I stated before: Tonight I am Grateful. SO Very Grateful. And Yes~I would do it all again to marry M. ♥